When you’re done having kids: until you’re not?

It all started just after my 40th birthday. To celebrate this milestone event, my family and I spent an unforgettable holiday in the Greek islands. For a week we explored deserted beaches, swam, ate, drank, and shopped to our hearts content. Upon our return, we finished a total renovation on our apartment which was the result of years of saving and months of planning. We studied every little detail to make sure that our new home would be the perfect nest for our family of five. Little did we know, our world was about to be rocked.

As the school year started again, I started to feel worse than I’d ever felt in my life. Drained of all my energy, in a terrible mood all the time, emotional, and often unable to even get myself off the couch. If I hadn’t had my tubes tied during the birth of my third child, I would have sworn I was pregnant. So having ruled out pregnancy, naturally I then self diagnosed myself with a terminal illness.  I was convinced that I must have an incurable disease, and at the same time too terrified to find out what it was and break the news to my family.

A friend convinced me to buy a pregnancy test, just to be 100% sure. So I did. And let me tell you, nothing could have prepared me emotionally for that double blue line that appeared or the emotional roller coaster that followed.

I’m not dying! (insert four letter word)

I’m just pregnant! (repeat four letter word)

But i’m 40!

Our perfect new house is meant for 5!

I swore I would never buy diapers again!

But…I had my tubes tied!

Apparently, a tubal ligation can fail. And fail it did. All I could think about was how on earth I could ever explain this phenomenon to one of my best friends, whose hand I held while she shared the heartbreak of her third miscarriage with me. Why do some women try and fail so many times, and here I am pregnant after a surgical procedure specifically designed to prevent it?? But at the same time, I felt that something truly miraculous was happening to me and couldn’t wait to share the news.

My first call was to my husband. After nearly collapsing in the Roman traffic, he immediately took pride in the conviction that his virility had defied all the odds. A few days later when we told the kids our oldest cried hysterical tears of joy. Our middle child looked dazed and said “But there are already so many of us,” and the “baby” said “ok.”

The months that followed were stressful, mainly because this would be a fourth C-section delivery, and the third not been without complications. But I took it easy (as easy as a working mom with 3 kids can possibly take it) and the delivery went without a hitch.

Several people have suggested that I press charges against the doctor who botched the tubal ligation…but one look at my super girl is enough to know that in the end, that doctor’s mistake was our immense blessing.

Kids can share rooms, and closets too. Where five eat, so can six. Changing diapers is like riding a bike. Chaos reigns, there is never a dull (or a quiet) moment, but I would never want it any other way.

About the author:
Danielle is an entrepreneur in the hospitality industry and a mom of 4. She has been creating tailor made tours and experiences throughout Italy and Switzerland since pioneering her first travel start-up, When in Rome Tours (link: www.wheninrometours.com) in 2006. She and her family now reside in Ticino where she enjoys connecting remarkable people & experiences at www.basecampeurope.com

 

• big family
• chidrenh
• family
• gynaecology
• motherhood
• surprises
• tubal ligation