Why Dont I Want To Be Intimate With My Partner (Part 2) – Nathalie Sommer

Relationship & Intimacy Coach Nathalie Sommer shares her tips on how to feel sensually empowered.

In our previous article, we discussed about Five Hidden Causes That Can Affect Your Sex Life. In today’s, I will tell you How to reconnect and bring sex back into your relationship. You are reading this article because you care and you want to find out why you no longer want to be intimate with your partner. The first step is admitting you are willing to create a change.

Intimacy and relationships are complex, and there are no easy answers. It’s not good or bad to have a high, a medium or a low libido. You like what you like, but if you don’t speak up about what you want, you can’t expect the other person to know. Opening the doorway and talking about it will create empathy and understanding, which is an important step to recreating a connection.

Here are some ways to go about it:

Take The Pressure Off

In a relationship, we seek security, novelty, mystery and acceptance. Sex is hard to get right, especially for women. I believe it’s so important to start by taking the pressure off sex first. You are still in a relationship, and you got this far, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Set the goal to not have sex but to recreate an intimate connection. Start by first making some time for each other have some laughter. Whether it’s a pause to look into each other’s eyes, or holding hands and sharing what you appreciate about your partner, slow down and enjoy being with one another. What you send out is also what comes back. The more we open ourselves and carve out time to connect with one another, the more we feel love and intimacy.

Intimacy Without Intercourse

When you are ready, have sex but remove the intercourse part and work on finding each other’s arousal and pleasure spots. It allows you to slow down and explore deeper. This can remove the stress of wondering if your partner wants sex, or you want each other, and decide to just try to enjoy each other instead. It can be a powerful experience.

Understand Your Intimacy Language

Understanding your own intimacy language and learning your personal sensual and love blueprint shows you how you’re intimacy is wired. Learning how to understand your own desires provides you with compassion and understanding about each other’s sexual needs and turn-ons. Take this quiz and discover your sensual archetype.

Think of your sensual blueprint as a road map. It shows you where to go, what to do and what not to do. It’s a guide that gives you information about skill sets you need to take things to the next level. It teaches you your sensual love language with which to communicate compassionately leading you to a clearer path to pleasure.

It’s possible for everyone to have a harmonious and connected partnership. We all deserve to have that in our lives, including you.

Do you remember the last time you paused with your partner to connect? I mean really took a full pause to just be. It’s human nature to want to be truly, fully seen by our partner; to be known and held in their thoughts and gaze. That’s what makes our hearts burst open. So why not make a little more time for connection?

Whether it’s a pause to look into each other’s eyes, or holding hands and sharing what you appreciate about your partner, slow down and enjoy being with one another. What you send out is also what comes back. The more we open ourselves and carve out time to connect with one another, the more we feel love and intimacy.

This is actually my favourite thing to witness when I work with my clients. Typically, when I first start working with a couple, I can see there’s a disconnect – there’s usually a longing for more on both sides. Once they start to put in the time and effort, they tell me how they have more compassion and understanding for one another within a short period of time. They also experience more love and fewer arguments. Overall, there’s a deeper connection between them than ever before, which then generally leads to better intimacy. That’s the power of connection!

About the author:
Nathalie Sommer is a certified Relationship & Intimacy Coach, Women’s Transformational Coach, speaker and international workshop facilitator. Through her communities, 1:1 + group coaching, speaking and events. Nathalie is supporting and transforming women’s and couples relationships and lives from around the globe, helping them to create powerful transformations through sensual feminine embodiment, relationship & intimacy work.
You can follow her work on Instagram and join her lively Eros Temple For Modern Women Facebook Group for intimate chats all about relationships, pleasure and sex. You can also visit her website to find out more about her services, or take Nathalie’s Eros Archetype Quiz 

• intimacy
• Intimate
• Love life
• partners
• sex