Column Nathalie Sommer
Relationship & Intimacy Coach Nathalie Sommer gives her expert advice on the five different stages of sensual intimacy
Relationship & Intimacy Coach Nathalie Sommer gives her expert advice on the five different stages of sensual intimacy and why it’s important to know which stage is right for you…
Achieving intimate sensual satisfaction is not always easy, especially when our sexuality resembles a roller coaster ride. We can experience thrilling highs where we feel incredibly alive, or other times when our libido is so low that sex is the last thing on our mind. Sound familiar? Experiencing different stages of sensual desires is normal. Often what you desire may be very different to what you need, and we can beat ourselves up if it’s not what we expect it to be. So, what’s the solution? Being aware of what sexual stage you are at will create compassion for yourself and set you on to the pathway to sexual contentment. So let’s embark on a journey together to discover what intimacy stage is right for you at this point in time.
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Resting
If you’re in this stage you’re taking time out from sexual activities. The resting stage can last from a few days to a few weeks, months or longer. You may be single, celibate or in a sexless relationship. Or you’re taking a deliberate break due to other reasons and you want to work through some things in your relationship before you connect again in the bedroom. Or perhaps you’ve experienced a break up and you want to discover first what you truly desire. There are many reasons why you may choose to rest. Most importantly you need to give yourself the time and permission to be in the resting stage and not feel guilty. If you’re in a relationship, communicate with your partner why you’re resting so they can be empathetic to your needs.
Healing
You may enter into the healing stage if you’ve experienced sexual trauma, or you’re experiencing some emotional or physical hurt. Are you experiencing hormonal imbalances? Have you recently had surgery or do you have scar tissue from giving birth? Maybe you’ve experienced infidelity or other strains on your relationship? If you’re nodding your head then the healing stage could be right for you. I believe we all carry trauma that can hurt when it comes to sexuality (some small, some big). That doesn’t mean we’re broken, but maybe it’s time to take a step back and look at what area needs healing. Creating healing can lead to transformation and to experiencing your utmost sensual desires. This is also a great opportunity to work with a therapist and overcome your obstacles, it’s something I’d love to help with. Another great way to assist your healing stage is by using, and creating a connection to, a Yoni Egg. The Yoni egg Academy can show you everything you need to know about the benefits of using and caring for your egg.
Curious
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Are you curious about understanding your pathway to arousal? Do you want to explore new aspects of your ever-changing sensual appetite? Or are you curious about how you can spice up your sex life? The Curious Stage is about asking yourself questions and wanting to understand your sexual desires in a more profound way. Being curious doesn’t mean you’re ready to do it. It means you’re opening up your perception to new possibilities. Are you ready to open up to the world of sensual curiosity? If yes, this can be a perfect time to find out more about how you’re wired and discover your sensual language. Take this quiz now to discover your pathway to connection and pleasure.
Adventurous
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Maybe you’ve been in the Curious Stage and you’ve been asking yourself questions about your uncovered sexual desires. You’ve discovered what they are and your body and mind are saying a big “yes” to trying it. You’re now owning your sensual desires and practising them. I know it can take some courage to be adventurous inside the bedroom and I’d like to applaud you for putting yourself out there. Whether it is having out of routine sex, this stage is all about taking action and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.
Transformational
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Are you ready to let your sex life transform you? Maybe you’re ready to open up to the path of energetic sex? Or you’re ready to feel empowered through exploring the ever so wide world of kink. By understanding your limits and boundaries you can learn what it means to fully surrender. Or maybe you’ll discover your confidence through leadership and taking charge. Simply put, being in the transformational stage means you’re ready to let your sex life transform your life!
Now you have an overview of the stages, which one do you think you are in? Where do you feel you need to be? No stage is better or worse than another. It can change because of the partner you’re with, stress factors and life circumstances. You can experience all stages in a short period of time, or you can stay in one stage for months or years. It’s about honouring what you need. This way you can create a sex life that’s aligned to you, and not let guilt or shame override you. Knowing the Stages Of Sexuality will help you weave epic sex and grand love into your life.
About the author:
Nathalie Sommer is a certified Relationship & Intimacy Coach, Women’s Transformational Coach, speaker and international workshop facilitator. Through her communities, 1:1 + group coaching, speaking and events.
Nathalie is supporting and transforming women’s and couples relationships and lives from around the globe, helping them to create powerful transformations through sensual feminine embodiment, relationship & intimacy work.
You can follow her work via https://www.instagram.com/nata.sommer/ on Instagram and join her lively Eros Temple For Modern Women Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/1835416650102332/ for intimate chats all about relationships, pleasure and sex. You can also visit her website to find out more about her services http://nathaliesommer.com/, or take Nathalie’s Eros Archetype Quiz http://nathaliesommer.com/quiz/
