Never Loose Hope

Life is not always peaceful and easy going. We all have our ups and downs and some more than others. Maria Zioga battled for years for self-love and self-acceptance. She couldn´t look at herself in a mirror and tried one diet after another. One side effect of extra weight gain was health problems like back pains. 

She shared Vivamost an article she had written for photographer Zornitsa Ivanova and her project “21 Days of Real Women”. This portrays a woman with great courage and we would like to give hope to women or men in this situation that there is light at the end of the dark tunnel. 

“All my life I never remember me being happy with my body and the way I looked. I was and still am chubby with wide hips and thighs. I have tried every diet under the sun, always hoping that that will be the one to transform me from an ugly, chubby duckling into a beautiful, slim swan. But nothing really worked and the few kilos that were lost were quickly replaced by even more.

By the time I turned 30 the yoyo dieting had completely destroyed my body’s metabolism and I had given up hope. I was fast approaching the 100kg mark when the pain in my lower back started and quickly became unbearable. My left leg went numb and I could not sit for more than 5 minutes without screaming from pain. The first operation unfortunately was not a success and instead of taking the pain away it augmented it to the point where my life was simply unbearable. The over the counter pain medication was useless and that’s when I started taking stronger anti-inflammatory drugs that ended up drilling a hole in my stomach sending me to the ICU with internal bleeding.

The neurosurgeon who operated on my back for the second time gave me an ultimatum, either I strengthen my back and abdominal muscles or the third time he see’s me on his operating table he would have to fuse the vertebrae of my spine with metal rods. The body that I had always hated and never accepted had given up on me too. I felt powerless and scared.

All these years I wanted it to be different, slimmer, more attractive, I blamed it for almost all my troubles in life and never loved even one inch. The realisation that I might not be able to walk and function normally hit me very hard. I had been really mean to my body and it was falling apart. It was not my enemy to hate but my companion and ally.

That day I promised myself that I would start listening to my body’s real needs, it’s need for proper nourishment and strength and above all it’s need for my acceptance and love. I started slowly to work on getting it stronger and healthier. I changed the way I ate but above all I changed the way I saw my body and I accepted that I even though I could never be a size 36, I could be a strong, healthy 44.

About the photographer:
Zornitsa Ivanova, of Bulgarian descent, specializes in magazine and glamor portraits for everyday women, offering them an unforgettable experience for an afternoon, where every woman is the star.https://zoriart.com/

 

• 21 Days of Real Women
• back pains
• body
• diets
• pains
• photography
• self love
• self-acceptance
• Zori Art
• Zornitsa Ivanova