Psychology
9 Tips to get over the impostor syndrome
“I was a brilliant student, I have a bunch of diplomas, I have a dream job … I have done everything to be proud of my education and professional career…BUT … I still doubt about my capacities and my legitimacy. I always feel like a fraud and someone will find out…”
Le syndrome de l´imposteur, Ecolab Jan 2020 – credit photo Sandrine Larive
Who never thought like this and who never hear this inner little voice saying “I’m not enough” ?
Let’s dig deeper with Sandrine Larive, certified coach & Hypnosis/NLP practitioner.
A syndrome affecting more women
We are all fighting demons that shout to our insecurities and undermine our success…However, some researches have shown 50% of women doubt their performance and careers and will under-estimate their performance sometimes twice as much as men. On top, women are more likely to dwell on negative events. In the book Confidence code, some stats have shown that men applied for a promotion when they thought they met 60% of the job requirements while women applied when they believed they met 100% of the job requirements. So how to quiet this inner critic and replace those negative thoughts which are NOT facts by a positive soundtrack?
credit photo Sandrine Larive
How to manage your inner critic (a.k.a your evil DJ…)?
1. Name it : just being aware of it is the first step to progress. Giving something a name makes it real, as well as something that can be communicated about. This is a constructive achievement.
2. Talk about it : having been able to talk about our experiences as a group in a trusted environment has been curative in itself – “you are not alone”, nearly every man and woman feel exactly the same way at one point in his or her career. And speaking to trusted colleagues, you will probably realize it is a bigger issue for you than it is in reality. Sometimes even daring to speak to your boss can be demystifying a lot.
3. Embrace the negative feeling but don’t ruminate and transform it : if it sticks to your mind, it is not just a thought but a rumination.It is important to take time to receive the negative thoughts but not too much so you can transform them into action and problem-solving mindset. Instead of “I failed to present what I intended to..” can you say ” What could I have done to prepare it better so I learn for next time ?”.
4. Understand your triggers : being aware of the triggers leading you to this feeling of fraudulence is key. Is it coming when you are stressed ? tired? when you receive a compliment ? when you are given feedback ? when you try something new ? etc…
5. Choose a cue to check-in with you : when you have identified the triggers, find something that reminds you to take an action you want to take in the future. It’s often used to create a new habit. It could be a bracelet or fitness band, calendar reminders, a postcard with an inspiring quote, alarms on your phone, or a picture or note on your desk. Its job is to prompt you to pause for a moment and check to see if your thoughts are constructive. Ideally, you need to check in on your thoughts several times a day, especially if you are feeling tired or stressed. You can ask yourself this check-in question “Is my evil DJ in charge ?”
credit photo Sandrine Larive
6. Get rid of the negative self story-telling and record a new soundtrack : sometimes you would never dare to tell to others what you tell to yourself so you create your own barriers. When you feel the triggers and negative thoughts are hijacking you, you know you can reverse things the other way and feel YOU are in charge of the playlist – you have the power to create a new script everyday and create your positive spiral. When you start a new job or project for example, instead of thinking “Wait till they find out I have no idea what I’m doing,” try thinking, “Everyone who starts something new feels off-base in the beginning. I may not know all the answers but I’m smart enough to find them out.” In I am Remarkable workshop, Google recommended us to write a list of things we think we are remarkable of (something unique, inspiring, you are proud of, personal to you). For some people, it is not always easy as at first it may sound like bragging but in reality they are the facts of everything you are already doing well. I love this idea of building a book of Awesomeness where you write all the positives that people say about you and when you have a moment of down, you can refer to it.
7. Don’t compare yourself to others : the best person for you to compare to is yourself. Look at your journey. What are all the achievements you have done so far ?
Elizabeth Harrin in the book “Overcome the Imposter syndrome”gives us 2 good tips as well.
credit Canva stockphotos
8. Visualize success. Do what professional athletes do. Spend time beforehand picturing yourself making a successful presentation or calmly posing your question in class. It is much better than picturing disaster scenarios and will help with performance-related stress.
9. Get out your comfort zone. Don’t wait until you feel confident to start putting yourself out there. Courage comes from taking risks. Change your behavior first and allow your confidence to build.
Ready to record your success soundtrack and open your Awesomeness bank?
#NotoevilDJ #positivefeeling #quietyourinnercritic
https://kyriellecoaching.com/portfolio/mission-de-vie-100-alignee-4-mois/
If you’d like to know more ab out Sandrine Larive and how she embraced the journey of discovering her possible working identities, read her profile piece in the Entrepreneurship Section.
Feature photo – credit Canva stockphotos
