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How do you grieve a relationship (Part I)
You just broke up and you can’t move on. Your thoughts go from feeling hurt and failing to anger. And sometimes you even hold out hope that the separation is not final. In short, this emotional turmoil shows that you’re still in shock.
To recover from a breakup and grieve, there are several stages:
1.Dealing with shock
Виктория Бородинова de Pixabay
It doesn’t matter who decided to end the relationship, the moment it happens it is a shock, even if you knew the relationship wasn’t working or that separation was imminent.
Why is that?
Because a decision has been made and your brain doesn’t know the consequences yet. This shock puts the body in a state of alert, you often have physical manifestations such as feeling a lump in your stomach, crying all the time, feeling like the ground is dissolving under your feet or even not feeling anything at all.
You may even go into total denial, i.e. you don’t believe that the relationship is really over. All of these symptoms are protective mechanisms in your body to help you dealing with this shock.
The solution?
Go through the body. If you try to reason yourself at this point, it won’t help, because your survival brain is in control, not your rational brain:
– Exercise or yoga…
Photo by Kalen Emsley on Unsplash
– Practice breathing exercises try this ECAP Method
– Whenever a negative emotion invades you, listen to this free emergency meditation to help you calm down right away and get out of this emergency mode.
FREE EMERGENCY MEDITATION– Take Rescue drops from Dr. Bach (unless contraindicated by your doctor) to help your body eliminate stress.
2. Weaning yourself off
When you’ve been in a couple and especially if you’ve slept together often, the body produces a hormonal cocktail of happiness and attachment in the presence of your partner.
Pana Kutlumpasis de Pixabay
When you break up, you literally go into withdrawal from this hormonal cocktail, even if the relationship wasn’t fulfilling.
To help you going through withdrawal gently, try to spend as much time as possible with people you like. This will help you to compensate for the hormonal decrease due to your separation by simply being around other people you care about.
You can also listen daily to this selflove meditation.
FREE SELFLOVE MEDITATIONAbout the author:
Sandy Kaufmann is a Love coach (certified life coach and etio-psychology-therapist) based in Zürich working mainly online. She is French and speak German, English and Spanish. Her passion is to accompany women to regain their serenity and for them to be happier with themselves and in their relationships. She uses a psycho-physical approach allowing you to work on your love patterns. Her other passions are travelling and lately kundalini yoga. More infos on her website and IG page.
